Planning a living wake or celebration of life in Melbourne comes with plenty of questions. You may have questions. Your family may have questions. Someone will almost certainly ask, “Are we actually allowed to do that?”
Usually, the answer is yes.
Questions and Queries? I got you!
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A living wake brings your favourite people together to celebrate you and your life while you’re still alive and able to be part of it.
There might be speeches, stories, music, food, drinks, photographs, dancing or a microphone that should never have been handed to that particular friend. It can feel like a party, a ceremony, a long lunch or something completely different.
The important bit is that you’re there to hear the nice things, laugh at the stories and make the memories too.
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No.
Some people plan a living wake after receiving a life-limiting diagnosis or when they know they are approaching the end of their life. Others use one to mark a significant chapter, bring loved ones together or celebrate a life that feels worth making a fuss about.
You don’t need to prove that you’re dying. We all are eventually. Cheery little reminder for the day.
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The terms are often used interchangeably. Both describe a gathering held while the person being honoured is still alive.
“Living funeral” can feel more ceremonial or closely connected to the end of life. “Living wake” often sounds more relaxed and social.
What you call yours is entirely up to you.
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Absolutely, but the person being celebrated should know what is happening and feel comfortable with it.
A surprise birthday party is one thing. A surprise living wake is quite another.
Family and friends can take the lead with planning, or we can work together so the guest of honour is involved without having to carry every practical detail themselves.
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It might, at times.
People may cry. Someone may not know what to say. Someone else may say far too much. There may also be enormous laughter, relief, connection and joy.
The aim isn’t to make everyone behave as though nothing difficult is happening. It’s to create a room where all of it is allowed to exist.
Living Wakes
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Not necessarily.
A funeral usually happens relatively soon after death and may include the coffin, burial or cremation. A celebration of life (in this sense) is often held separately and can happen after a private funeral or direct cremation.
It generally has more flexibility around timing, venue and format. It can still include a meaningful ceremony, tributes and moments of farewell, just without having to follow a traditional funeral structure.
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Yes. This is a common reason families choose a celebration of life.
A direct cremation takes care of the cremation privately, then the celebration can happen when you have had time to breathe, gather the right people and plan something that genuinely reflects your person.
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Whenever it feels right.
It might happen within days, several weeks later, on a meaningful date or months down the track. There is no compulsory timeline.
Waiting can give family and friends time to travel, choose a venue and create something personal without trying to make every decision during the first overwhelming days after someone has died.
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Yes.
I’m also a funeral celebrant, so I can write and lead a personal ceremony as part of the gathering. Funeral celebrancy is offered through Candice Mulcahy Funerals and can be discussed alongside your event planning so the two parts work together beautifully.
Family and friends can take the lead with planning, or we can work together so the guest of honour is involved without having to carry every practical detail themselves.
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If someone has died, you will need a funeral director or direct cremation provider to care for them and arrange the burial or cremation.
You don’t necessarily need a funeral director to plan or run the celebration of life itself. That is where Any Excuse for a Party can step in.
I’m no longer taking on families in the capacity of a funeral director, but I can work alongside the provider you choose and make sure everyone understands which part they are handling.
Celebrations of Life
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I’m based in Melbourne and work across Melbourne and surrounding areas.
Planning can also happen remotely, so if your gathering is a little further away, ask me. Travel requirements and any additional costs will always be discussed before you book.
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That depends on the kind of gathering you want and the venue available.
It might be ten favourite humans around a dining table or a packed room filled with family, friends, colleagues and people you haven’t seen since 1997.
We’ll discuss your guest numbers early so we can create something that feels comfortable, practical and right for the person being celebrated.
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Yes.
Depending on the level of support you choose, I can help source suitable venues and connect you with caterers, florists, photographers, musicians, stylists and other suppliers.
You won’t be handed a compulsory package of sad sandwiches and beige chair covers. We’ll choose what the gathering actually needs.
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Yes.
Planning conversations can happen by phone or video call, documents can be shared electronically and suppliers can be coordinated from wherever you are.
If you’re organising the gathering from interstate or overseas, I can be your person on the ground in Melbourne.
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Every living wake and celebration of life is different, so pricing depends on the size of the gathering, the level of planning support required and what you would like me to coordinate.
After an initial conversation, I’ll provide a clear proposal outlining my fee and what is included. Venue hire, catering and other supplier costs will be shown separately wherever possible, so you know exactly where the money is going.
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It depends on the date, venue, guest numbers and how many moving parts are involved.
A simple gathering may come together relatively quickly. A larger event with a particular venue, multiple suppliers and guests travelling from different places will need more time.
If time is short, contact me anyway. I’ll be honest about what can be done well, what may need to be simplified and whether I have availability.
Planning and Practicalities
Still have a question? Excellent. Humans are complicated and parties around death are not exactly an everyday enquiry.